[tor-talk] Food for thought

[foodforthought at sigaint.org]

>> Things are never black and white, there are always two sides of a story
>> and people are never only good or bad.
>>
>> But was it really our first and foremost concern to find out the
>> "truth"?
>> Is the lesson to be learned, if you will, about who is to blame? About
>> shaming the victims or shaming the alleged perpetrator? About whether or
>> not the "accused" will be found "guilty"? Is an "evidence-based
>> discussion" or "due process" really going to solve the greater issue
>> here?
>>
>> In a community that claims to strive for equality, accusations against
>> one
>> person raise much broader questions and issues, like:
>>
>> -) How much leadership/charisma/hero-worshiping can be healthy for a
>> community of self-empowered people?
>>
>> -) What is not criminal can still be harmful, disrespectful, humiliating
>> or
>> violating consent, just as what is criminal can still be ethical or
>> consensual. Innocent until found guilty misses the mark in this context.
>>
>> -) If we were living in a community/society of fulfilled people, who
>> feel
>> accepted, approved of and loved by their peers, there would be no such
>> thing as abuse or harassment. But we don't. (Yet?) How do we deal with
>> this discrepancy in a constructive way?
>
> Beautiful!
>
>> -) If someone voices concerns about a certain individual, how do we open
>> lines of communication before too many get harmed? How do we treat both
>> parties involved respectfully?
>>
>> -) Even when a person, from the bottom of their heart, talks about
>> sex-positivism, respect for others, transparency and equality, it does
>> not
>> mean that they can live up to their own expectations. Their own
>> disability
>> to do so may make them even more enthusiastic talking about it.
>>
>> -) We are all humans, we are fallible, we are flawed, we cause harm in
>> others. The question is, do we create an environment where failure is
>> recognized, do we surround ourselves with friends who will tell us we
>> failed? Will they express concern, when self-reflection and
>> self-criticism
>> have failed us? Will people speak up even to the one person considered a
>> role model? Or do we kick issues into the long grass and surround
>> ourselves with yes-men?
>> This ties in with the first question.
>
> Great questions. Thanks for being so constructive!
Thanks!
While it comes late for some, it might help the community fail better next
time. ;-)
Feel free to add more questions.

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